Why did Daenerys react the way she did to Jon's revelation when he obviously doesn't want the throne?

It’s not only about his claim to the Throne.

But when you say “he obviously has no desire at all to rule the Iron Throne” -- that is only obvious to someone who has watched him for seven years on HBO, or someone who knows him personally.

Dany doesn’t. Well, she knows him. They’ve had sex. But she doesn’t know his character.

There has never been a claimant to the Throne in Dany’s lifetime who has not wanted her dead. Never. Her whole family, including babies and toddlers were murdered by the Lannisters. The Baratheon’s killed her uncle and the Starks helped that. This is her reality. She spent her childhood fleeing towns because assassins were after her. She only narrowly escaped death by poisoning from Robert Baratheon in Season 1. Her older brother, who wanted to be king, abused her physically and emotionally and maybe even sexually. So, yeah, she’s a little paranoid.

But more than that. She’s alone. And the direction and writing of the episode brutally underscores that.

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The whole episode is made up of two person or three person scenes: scenes of people who love each other. Tyrion and Jaime. Jon, Sam and Edd. Grey Worm and Missandei. Arya and Gendry. Sansa and Theon. Arya and the Hound. Brienne and Tormund and Pod and Jaime. Jorah and Lyanna. Jorah and Sam, connecting through the dead Jeor Mormont.

These scenes show them all connecting…not connecting in a cold, political way. Connecting with love or at least respect. With shared experiences. With shared fears. With sex.

When she sees Sansa embrace Theon tearfully, the camera lingers on Daenerys because she is reminded that even Sansa, who is quite cold to her, has this other side. This side that connects to people and both needs and gives emotional nourishment.

Jon gives her the brush off in the episode several times. And he’s her boyfriend.

He’s going through some shit. He doesn’t understand she’s going through some shit, too. She also doesn’t understand he’s going through some shit. They don’t connect.

And she thought that she could connect with him. He’s the only man besides “someone taller” who has always been open with her.

Really the only person she connects on a personal level in the episode is old ser Jorah Mormont, and only briefly. And he’s a servant.

She reaches out to Sansa but Sansa rebuffs her. Sansa is guarded, icy; her smile and leads Daenerys into a trap of sorts. Dany wants her support politically; but she also wants her support as Jon’s sister. She very pointedly doesn’t get either.

When she finds Jon in the crypt she goes to him because she wants to connectwith him. She knows something is wrong. She wants to embrace him. She wants her to embrace him. She’s scared and alone. They are both facing death and no one wants to be alone for that shit.

Not only does he not give her what she needs; he lays his identity crisis on her. Which he has to do. He’s always been open with her, after all. And that’s why when he says “It’s true, I know it is,” She believes him.

But it causes an instant identity crisis for her, too. And she’s hardly in a stress-free situation without this revelation. She’s in a place where everyone hates her. Her father’s murderer is hanging out in the same place. At least she had this relationship to look forward to.

And these are not the revelations that you just shrug off. What he told her is utterly life changing, even if he doesn’t press his claim. It’s the shit that causes break ups.

And even if it can be worked out…it’s not going to be worked out in a one three minute conversation. It needs a lot of processing.

And she’s still alone.