Crimes and Misdemeanors of Ice and Fire

’ve been thinking about the morality of Game of Thrones and how mixed up it all is, presenting the story as a sort of dumb morality play in the last season. Much of the debate from fans that I’ve read have focused on Sansa and Dany and the morality of their actions.

So here, with two episodes remaining, I’ve compiled a list of crimes by most of the major players still standing Game of Thrones, using both books and shows as reference.

Typed from memory (and I have not read the main books since 2016), so if you remember something I’ve missed please feel free to let me know (nicely, respectfully.) Note, gossip, shit distributing, and lies are not considered as crimes, necessarily, unless they result in deaths and are done towards that end; and for reasons of time, I’ve limited this to major players still living as of Season 8 Episode 5.

Some of these are lesser crimes than others of course.And some of them are written with tongue firmly in cheek.

Battle deaths are counted, though obviously excusable…except when the show tells us they are not, apparently.

Crimes of Ice and fire:

Tyrion:

• participated in a brutal but unwitting gang-rape of his own wife. (not in show)
• killed mountain clan people
• killed soldiers in battle (not in show)
• poisoned Cersei (not in show)
• stole poison from Pycelle
• had Pycele physically abused and humiliated
• orchestrated battle includng chemical warfare, killing hundreds
• slew like an armored God in battle (not in show)
• had singer Symon Silvertongue murdered and sold to a stew shop (not in show)
• armed the Mountain Clans, which resulted in several deaths in the Vale
• killed his father and his lover
• verbally abused a whore and Penny (not in show)
• physically assaulted Penny (not in show)

Daenerys, Breaker of Chains, etc:

• euthanized husband
• burned Mirri Maaz Duur alive
• attempted suicide
• shut up Xhoan Xhoar Daxos and Doreah for betrayal and for murdering Irri (not in book)
• Conquered Astapor, having the Unsullied kill the ruling class of Astapor, but spared young and slaves and women; caused political instability
• sacked Yunkai, taking tribute but leaving system intact
• crucified 367 random members of the ruling class of Meereen as punishment for their crucifixion of 367 children
• Responsible for stirring up mass Civil Unrest in the Slaveowning Free Cities and cities of Slaver’s Bay
• mass murder of Dothraki khals in Vaes Dothrak by fire (not in books-- yet)
• killed several members of Lannister armies
• executed prisoners of war who refused to bow to her or go to the Wall
• killed several undead wights;
• attempted regicide of Night King

Arya:

• stole baked items from bakeries in King’s Landing
• assaulted street urchins in King’s Landing
• murdered a stableboy who was trying to assault her
• wounded men in battle
• had Jaquen H'ghar kill two men (several men in show)
• and had him orchestrate a takeover of Harrenhal, resulting in many deaths and gang rapes of civilian castle personnel by Roose Bolton's men (not in show)
• murdered one of Roose Bolton's guards
• In wolf form, killed several members of the Bloody Mummers (not in show)
• robbed Sandor Clegane
• assassinated crooked insurance salesman
• murdered Daeron from the Night's Watch for breaking his vows
• murdered the waif (not in book)
• murdered Meryn Trant (not in book)
• Fraud: pretended to be several different people
• murdered Raff the Sweetling (not a character in the show — instead, there was Polliver, who I believe was one of the men murdered by Jaqen Hg’har at her request)
• in wolf form seems to have killed humans here and there across the Riverlands (not in show)
• mass murder of Frey family, including forced cannibalism, in revenge for Robb and Catelyn (not in books)
• executioner of Littlefinger for crimes unproven in a kangaroo court on evidence from a self-styled psychic and clairvoyant(not in books)
• regicide of the most revered and respected king in Westeros: the Night King, aka Jake (not in show)
• mass murder of thousands of undead wights.
• Directly responsible for the mass extinction of a critically endangered human sub-species, the homo sapiens albis deaumbulatis

Jon Snow:

• killed a wight in self-defense (cleared of charges)
• broke oath under orders (cleared of charges)
• had sex several times with an enemy of the Realm, breaking oath (cleared of charges)
• killed men in battle, including organizing a defense of the castle
• killed Karl Tanner in Craster's Porn Brothel (not in books)
• broke oath by meddling in politics of the North (Karstark matter; imprisoned Karstark in dark ice cell without due process (not in book)
• involved himself in politics of the 7 kingdoms by supporting Stannis and giving him military Nothern insider military advice to help him aid the fight o overthrow Roose Bolton; listed hatred of Lannisters as motivating factor
• let in a host of thousands of Enemy Wildlings in through the gate
• endeavored to organize said Wildlings into an army and lead them in Battle against Ramsay Bolton, Officially Recognized Warden of the North because he thought she was married to Arya (not in show)
• murdered officers of the Night's Watch, including a child, for having murdering for breaking his vows (not in books)
• Actually led an army of Wildlings against Ramsay and botched it (not in books)
• Helped lead forces of the North to almost certain disaster through botched planning
• killed many wights and and a member of the "critically"endangered human subspecies homo sapiens albis deaumbulatis

Sansa:

• dishonoured her father by alerting Cersei of his plans
• theft of lemon cakes when she thought no one was looking
• tattled on siblings for minor infractions
• fraud: posing as Littlefinger's bastard daughter Alayne Stone
• failed to alert authorities regarding themurder of her aunt Lysa Arryn
• murdered husband by having him eaten by dogs (not in books)
• broke oath made in front of the Old Gods (not in books)

Jaime:

• murdered King
• treason by sleeping with King's Wife
• incest by same
• Lost battle of Riverrun and Battle of Whispering Wood through extremely shoddy planning
• murdered cousin (not in books)
• attempted murder of Brienne of Tarth
• illegally attacked Ned Stark in the street, killing several members of his entourage, though they were incapacitated
• illegally released his brother from prison
• some bullshit in Dorne (not in books)
• threatened to murder Edmure Tully's wife and unborn child and thought to himself that he would really do it
• murdered Olenna Tyrell by forcing her take poison (not in books)
• had borderline rapey seduction scene with Brienne

Cersei:

• arranged death of husband/king
• treason/incest with brother
• incest with nephew
• had a baby bastard of her husband’s murdered (in show, it is implied to be Joffrey’s doing)
• possibly arranged murder of brother Tyrion (Joffrey’s doing in show)
• adultery with Kettleblack
• fraud: tried to frame Magaery Tyrell
• arranged torture and murder of blue singer
• arranged torture, scientific experiments on and eventual murder of Falyse Stokeworth
• Fraud: sent Dorne a skull and said it was the Mountain’s, when it was not. (Unless you’re one of these people that think that the Mountain has no head.) (not in show)
• Responsible for murder of many disabled dwarfs (not in show)
• mass murder of Tyrell House and many members of the Faith of the Seven in the Sept of Baelor (not in books)
• destruction of property: burning the Tower of the Hand,(not in show) destroying the UNESCO site of Baelor's Sept (not in books)
• poisons a a Sand Snake and chains her mother, Ellyria Sand up next to her to watch her die; presumably starves said mother to death (not in books)
• arranges beatings and whippings of Tommen's friends (not in show)
• invites innocent human shields into King’s Landing and plans for them to die.(not in books)